THE MOTHER IN LAW | Famous Mother in Law story is available

Portrait of happy mother-in-law and a young couple in the back yard

A Yoruba adage says having a bad husband is better than having a bad inlaw. Ifeoma had always argued against it but now that she was in such a situation, she agreed effortlessly. She could vividly remember how in love she and her husband, Oluwafikayomi was back in their university days. They were both freshers back then in University of Ibadan when they met. They hated each other’s guts at first since they started on a wrong foot. If anyone had told her then that she would last this long in a relationship with Fikayo much more lead to marriage, she would have laughed hysterically and told that person that he or she was hallucinating.

What made her so close with Fikayo then was his genius abilities, Fikayo was the most brilliant student of their set. Ifeoma was intelligent too, but while Fikayo graduated with a First Class degree, 6.70 CGPA, Ifeoma graduated with a Second class Upper degree, 5.55 CGPA.

Fikayo on the other hand was attracted to Ifeoma at first sight, and he couldn’t be blamed either, he was just another one of Ifeoma’s numerous admirers. Ifeoma was a very beautiful and attractive light skinned slim lady whose colour of eyes are the unique colour of blue which only adds more to her already extravagant beauty.

Fikayo and Ifeoma started dating in the first semester of their second year in the university and they were even tagged the cutest couple in the Faculty of Education back then. They had their ups and downs, several fights and one or two breakups before they graduated but they overcame it all.

Now that Ifeoma thought about it all, she should have taken the signs she got from Fikayo back then so serious, maybe she wouldn’t be in the position that she was in right now. Fikayo was a typical Mama’s boy, have always been and will always be. He placed his mother in such high level in his life, of course, it’s okay but then believing that his mother is always the right one and is never wrong is just too much for Ifeoma to handle.

As long as his mother was involved in any fight or any argument with anybody, to him, his mother has no fault nor is she wrong.

Fikayo also had a very huge flaw back then, jealousy. Ifeoma had never seen or known of any man who could be as jealous as Fikayo was. He never wanted Fikayo near any man whatsoever and he made her cut off any form of friendship or acquaintance with them. Ifeoma always thought of it as being cute and just overprotective of her but now that she thought of it all, she should have taken it more serious.

But then, you do not get into water and then start crying of cold since it should be expected.

Ifeoma was still in the mood of reminiscing the past and all the signs she missed back then when the doorbell rang.

And immediately she shouted the typical “who is that?”

The voice that answered “Come and open the door for me!” was none other than her worst nightmare.

It was her Mother-in-law.

Ifeoma sighed before she opened the door to let her in. But then she was not alone this time, she came along with a grown up woman who has one very thick tribal mark on both sides of her face.

“Good afternoon, mama.” Ifeoma greeted her Mother-in-law kneeling on both knees, she didn’t want to start on a wrong foot with her since she could practically take up her —not kneeling— as a very big deal.

“Well-done, where is my son?” Mama asked eyeing Ifeoma vigorously.

“He’s yet to be back from work ma. You know the nature of his job, but I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Ifeoma replied smiling and trying to lighten up the tense room.

“He’ll be back soon and you are just sitting doing what? Is he going to drink just water after a tiring day at work?” Mama questioned.

“No ma, I am already preparing his favourite ma. Jollof rice and fried meat. I have enough to go round for you and even your guest ma. Let me go and check it.” Ifeoma said rushing towards the kitchen until she was stopped by mama.

“Come back here. Wonders shall never end! So Jollof rice is now my son’s favourite? My son that couldn’t even do without eating Amala dudu and Ewedu soup in a day.”

“No mama. He hardly eats swallow food now ma. He loves my Jollof rice a lot and can even do everything for me just to make sure I cook it.” Ifeoma retorted.

“Okay, so I don’t know my son’s favourite food again, abi? You know my son for ordinary six or seven years now and you are the one that knows him more? Have you forgotten that no woman can know a man more than his mother does? All this stupid sons’ wives that thinks they know their husband more than the mother. Nonsense!” Mama fumed.

“I am sorry ma!” Ifeoma apologized even though she didn’t do or say anything wrong.

“Sorry for yourself. Meanwhile, I have gotten a maid for you people o. My son complained about you not doing all the chores nor cooking his foods very well. So this is Tofunmi who will be living and working in this house henceforth.” Mama said while Ifeoma looked at her dumbfounded for a while before she found her voice and spoke.

“But… mama… Fikayo didn’t mention any such thing to me ma. And he never complains of my foods, not once. And I can handle all the chores. There is literally nothing she’ll be doing in this house. The washing machine washes our clothes and the dishwasher does our dirty dishes. I sweep this house myself and cooking is not a big deal either, it’s what I’m good at so a maid is definitely not what we need ma. But thank you for trying to help mama.”

“So that nonsense food that hardly has pepper in it is what you call food? Ordinary Ewedu, I have never seen you cook it in this house. All you cook is stew that has twenty tomatoes and two pepper in it. I have brought this girl here and she is here to stay. Tofunmi, take your things to the room right there jare.” Mama complained and then directed the girl.

Ifeoma had already had enough.

“No mama. She had better not leave that spot! I have respected you enough o, mama. This is my husband’s house and I have a say in it. You can’t just come and start controlling things for me. Your son is a grown up man who is now a married man and he doesn’t need his mother to take care of him anymore, his wife can do that.”

“Eh eh! So I do not have a say in my own son’s house? Ehn? I don’t blame you, I blame your parents that have refused to teach you manners from home…”

Ifeoma sparked, she could take anything but her parents being insulted so she started insulting her Mother-in-law before she could stop herself.

“Mama, ahnahn… what is it sef?! Don’t you have your own husband’s house to be controlling? Why do you keep pokenosing into another family’s matter? Why won’t you stop terrorizing me in my husband’s house? Nothing I do satisfies you in any way! I think it’s high time you left. This girl is not staying in this house and that’s my own. Her services are not needed here, you can check the next building!”

Mama burst into fake tears while Ifeoma wondered what warranted her drama now. She looked at the the door to see her husband standing at the entrance observing the whole scenario.

Ifeoma was surprised to see her husband at the entrance and she immediately understood why his mother started her fake tears. She shook her head in a manner that says ‘this woman’.

“What is going on here, Oma? What have you said to my mother this time to make her start crying, and you know how emotional she can get?” Fikayo questioned his wife as he rushed to console his mother.

“Your wife have been insulting me since I entered this house, Akanni! I don’t know why it is this Igbo girl that you had to marry when it is not that responsible Yoruba girls are nowhere to be found. Very disrespectful and mannerless!” Mama spat while Ifeoma looked at her husband as if expecting him to say something to support her but Fikayo said nothing about it instead he said something totally unrelated to the matter.

“Oma, what is burning?!” Ifeoma who had completely forgotten about the Jollof rice she was cooking ran into the kitchen.

Mama laughed hysterically and said something that Ifeoma heard clearly,”The good wife that burns food! When a woman is bad, she is bad! There is nothing anybody can do to make her good! Akanni, is it burnt food that you have been eating in this house? No wonder you look so lean and malnourished. Infact, I am going to have to stay in this house for some weeks and look after you. I won’t allow one useless woman to kill you for me!”

Ifeoma rushed out of the kitchen not minding the burning smell that the Jollof rice have created, she would have to cook again for her husband since the rice got burnt real bad, she wondered how they hadn’t even perceived the smell on time.

“No mama! You are not staying in this house, I will never allow that, never!” Ifeoma snapped standing akimbo.

“Oma, what is wrong with you now? Why won’t you stop acting like a rival with my mother?” Fikayo questioned.

“Are you asking me that? Shouldn’t you be asking your mother? She should have just married you now if she just can’t allow her son to be a man in his own house.”

Ifeoma certainly wasn’t ready to allow her Mother-in-law to stay in her matrimonial home, she can definitely send her packing if care was not taken.

“If only you can use all these strength you are using here to fight your mother at home who has locked your womb somewhere!” Mama snapped and walked into the guest room knowing fully well that she had won the battle with that little statement of hers.

Ifeoma burst into tears, her Mother-in-law knew just what to say to hurt her, she had those words in her palms.

“Don’t mind mama, Oma! Why are you crying cos of what she said, you know it’s old age that has made her this way.” Fikayo said in way to console his wife.

Ifeoma shook her head vehemently before she spoke,”When she was the one crying, you said she is emotional now that I am crying, you still keep on supporting her! When will you grow up for Christ’s sake?!”

Ifeoma rushed into her room afterwards expecting her husband to rush after her to settle the misunderstanding but instead, Fikayo went into the guest room.

‘His mother will always be his first priority’, Ifeoma thought as she cried.

It was after Fikayo was through with his mother that he went into his wife’s bedroom. Immediately he entered the room, Ifeoma who was only lying down on the bed tired of crying acted like she was asleep because she did not want any form of conversation with her husband at that moment. She was too annoyed at him.

“Oma dear, are you asleep? It’s only 4:30pm now, why would you be sleeping by this time?” Fikayo questioned knowing fully well that his wife was only pretending to be asleep, she is always fond of doing that whenever she wants to avoid any form of argument with him. Fikayo knows her too well.

“Okay o, where’s my food o? The Jollof rice I should be eating now is burnt and you know how much I hate burnt foods, won’t you get up and cook me another one?” Fikayo was too hungry to start an argument so he had to ask for what would stop the hunger which was his wife’s Jollof rice.

Ifeoma who had forgotten that she was supposed to be acting asleep responded with fury,”You kept a cook in the house abi? Or isn’t your best food Amala and Ewedu soup or whatever your mom called it? Go and call that stupid girl that your mother brought into my house to cook it for you now. Why do you want to eat a food cooked by a bad cook when your mother already brought a good cook for you? Biko, don’t disturb me o!”

“But Oma, why do you keep allowing Mama’s opinion to affect you?” Fikayo questioned while Ifeoma stared at him like he suddenly grew two horns on his forehead.

“Is that even a question? Really? How would you feel if my mother walk into this house to terrorize, insult and blaspheme you every time, ehn? But I trust my mother though, she has no such time, she’s not as jobless as someone’s mother!” Ifeoma shouted angrily.

“Don’t talk that way about Mama, Ifeoma! You know I won’t take that from you!” Fikayo snapped at his wife getting pissed off already.”Just one bad word about your mom makes you spark like electricity yet your mom would say hundreds of bad words to me and you won’t even flinch! Hypocrisy at its best. By the time I go out of this house for you and your mother ehn, you would just marry her since that’s what she wants anyways!” Ifeoma said again.

“Oma, I don’t have time for all these. I need to eat, please.” Fikayo begged his wife.

“Then go into that kitchen and make yourself something to eat, I am not stepping a foot into that kitchen today, not today! If not for your mother that barged into this house with the motive to provoke me, that delicious Jollof rice wouldn’t have gotten burnt!” Ifeoma concluded as she laid on the bed.

Fikayo shook his head and left his wife to cool her temper. Trying to talk to her right now will result into nothing, he walked into the kitchen that he had not stepped foot in for at least five months now to cook something but before he could even touch the gas cooker, his mum rushed in like someone that was being chased.

“Eh eh! Ifeoma or whatever they call her has turned my own son into a houseboy. My son now enters kitchen o! Your Charm or voodoo will not work o, useless woman, it won’t work! It is not while I am alive that you will turn my own son into your house boy!” Mama shouted running helter shelter like a deranged woman as soon as she succeeded in dragging her son out of the kitchen.

“Who is that shouting like someone who escaped from a psychiatric hospital now?” Ifeoma asked in false politeness as soon as she walked out of her room.

“It is your whole family that will end up in a psychiatric hospital, not me!”

“Oh, I am so sorry mama. I had no idea that it was you. I was just wondering why anyone would shout like that when it’s not that she got bitten by a dog.” Ifeoma apologized in a mocking manner all the while trying not to laugh.

“Why won’t I shout when you have decided to turn my Akanni into your house boy!”

“Seriously?! Fikayo who has not stepped into the kitchen for months even if it’s to take ordinary bottled water from the fridge? And then he steps into it just today and he has turned into my house boy?! The height of foolishness in this house amazes me a lot! Meanwhile, house boy, it’s better you get into that kitchen and cook cos I won’t do it for you and I better not see that dirty girl your mother brought into this house in my kitchen either! Even your mom isn’t allowed and you know me o, so don’t try me at all!” Ifeoma concluded as she walked gracefully into her room with no care in the world.

“Mama, you caused all of this o! Oma hardly gets angry at everything you say to her but now you have pushed her to the wall.” Fikayo complained.

“What have I said or done? How can I see the truth and keep shut about it? I never liked that girl since the day you introduced her to me as your wife. She’s so disrespectful!” Mama snapped.

“You’re just been tribalistic cos she’s an Igbo girl and she hasn’t given birth yet but mama, our marriage is not even up to three years yet! Let her breathe, please. I’ve had enough of rivalry in this house and I can’t deal with it anymore. Meanwhile, take Tofunmi back to Imeko, Oma will never accept her into this house.” Fikayo concluded as he walked into his wife’s bedroom to cajole her.

“Since when does your wife’s opinion matter in your own house? Why would you allow her to make decisions for you? Is she now the husband in this house? Tofunmi, get your things, we are going out of this house. I’ll have to do something to nullify the voodoo that this stupid woman has put in my son’s food to turn him against me! Let us go!” Mama said as she banged the door angrily on her way out.

Meanwhile, Fikayo succeeded in cajoling his wife and Oma went into the kitchen to cook for her husband.

It was a cold Sunday and Mama who as usual had come to spend the weekend in her son’s house barged into her son’s room to greet her son only to meet the horror of her life so she rushed out the same way she rushed in.

Ifeoma had the best laugh of her life at the woman’s expense, she just wouldn’t stop laughing.

Her husband quickly rushed after his mother. Meanwhile, in the guest room that mama stays whenever she comes around, mama was fuming.

“Mama, what you saw is a normal thing that occurs between couples. You shouldn’t have barged into the room in the first place.” Fikayo tried to explain utterly embarrassed that his mother had to see such an intimate thing.

Mama on the other hand was still shocked, she had never experienced nor expected such, it never occurred during their own days so she found it hard to mask the shock and disgust she was feeling.

“What was that nonsense that you were doing, Akanni? The same place that blood comes out from every month? I am so dissapointed in you, what has gone wrong with you nitori oloun?” Mama complained almost crying.

“Mama, it’s called oral sex and it’s an intimate thing between couples these days, it’s nothing to cry about.” Fikayo pestered scratching his neck not knowing how else to explain this to his mother.

Ifeoma who had been standing at the entrance of the room burst into hysterical laughter, she was enjoying the woman’s horror.

“Fikayo, is your mom crying…cos … of ordinary oral sex? That will teach her to always knock on the door instead of just barging into the room every d*mn time like she owns the house. She always seem to forget that you have a wife in this house.” Ifeoma said amidst laughter.

“You evil woman! How dare you make my son do that? How dare you! You witch!” Mama shouted at Ifeoma who still wouldn’t stop laughing, she was just finding the whole situation so funny.

“Mama o! Ask your son if I force him now! We both enjoy it and it’s a two way thing so it’s no big deal! You are the one who needs to know her place in this house, you should let your son have some privacy and stop meddling into his life both physically and emotionally. What we do on our matrimonial bed is our business and not yours.” Ifeoma stated now hiccuping as a result of laughing too much.

“Biko, baby. I need to take my bath or should I wait for you, let’s continue what your mother interrupted.” Ifeoma said again as she bursted into another fit of laughter before walking into her husband’s room.

Mama stared at her son still not processing what her eyes just saw. She swore never to barge into her son’s room ever again.

“Oma, you are really trying with that woman you call your Mother-in-law o! If I had such Mother-in-law, God knows I would have poisoned her tey tey!” Bola, one of Ifeoma’s best friends said nonchalantly.

Ifeoma had just two bestfriends right from secondary school, Bola and Halima. They attended the same university and their friendship seemed to grow stronger through the days. Bola was yet to be married but has a boyfriend who was a married man, Halima on the other hand was a year married on the basis of an arranged marriage to an Hausa man.

“Ah ahn! Bola, that is too extreme, killing on top what na?!” Halima exclaimed while Ifeoma just kept quiet.

“Look at this one o! It’s like you don’t know what these Mother-in-laws are capable of doing! I trust myself. If I should get married and any stupid woman tries all that nonsense with me, she should be ready to join her ancestors in hell!” Bola exclaimed taking the whole issue personal.

“Oma, you had better not mind this girl who doesn’t even know what marriage entails yet. Don’t let her ruin your marriage o!” Halima said disagreeing with Bola who was just fuming.

“What do you mean?! Oh you think the stupid arranged marriage that you got yourself into is what marriage is? The man hardly even stays with you! It’s just as if he married you into his house as a living showpiece!” Bola exclaimed.

Ifeoma could have stepped into their bickering since they were already taking the matter to a whole different level but she was just too stressed up to say anything.

“And the married man you are dating who is deceiving you that he’ll leave his wife for you nko? Am I not better than you?!” Halima snapped angrily.

“Ademi is a man of his words. He always does what he says. He’s going to marry me and that’s it. Oma, you need to see the enjoyment galore he put me through in Dubai last month. The shopping spree alone is enough to kill someone, I even bought us a matching gown. It’s dope!” Bola said excitedly.

Bola is that kind of person whose mood never stays the same for over twenty minutes, the way she switches seems so impossible.

This minute, she’s angry and fuming and the next minute, she’s happy and excited. Ifeoma used to call her bipolar.

Ifeoma decided to contribute after minutes of silence, “But really, Bola, Halima is just telling you the truth. You are over thirty already, you are not getting younger. I don’t know why you have always found married men attractive since our school days. That man will never leave the mother of his kids for you.”

“He will. He definitely will! Meanwhile, they don’t have kids yet and why are you guys now focusing on my own relationship life? Is my life incomplete just because I’m yet to get married? Ademi is the love of my life and he’ll get married to me, I don’t care if I have to be the second wife, he just has to be my husband.” Bola insisted while Halima and Ifeoma shook their heads in pity.

“I hope it’s not too late before you come to your senses! What joy would you derive from ruining a fellow woman’s marriage? Or have you forgotten that it’s the same cane that he’s using to beat the first wife that he’ll use in beating you too?!” Halima said.

“No! You guys don’t even know him and you’re judging him so much. He even introduced me to his mother and the woman likes me so much, they have just decided to keep it all low key till he can break the news to his wife.” Bola explained.

“I am just so disgusted at you, Bola. It should be women raising other women up and not bringing them down. I have to be careful around you cos you can even snatch my own husband too since married men are your spec.” Halima remarked angry at Bola.

“Hun, ode! Your husband that have been snatched already abi which one are you saying? A woman is probably grinding him right now and you are here shouting my husband up and down!” Bola said.

“You guys are taking this too far! Bola, it seems your mind is made up with your so called Ademi so just do quick and get married to him already, we want to eat rice biko!” Ifeoma said trying the lighten the tense atmosphere.

“Meanwhile, I’d better get going now before my husband comes back from work and doesn’t meet his beautiful wife at home. You know how he gets when I come home late form work, I don’t want wahala today, biko. You girls should take good care of yourself, I’ll call you!” Ifeoma said as she departed.

“You people like carrying husband on your head like its a trophy sef!” Bola snapped.

“Ehn, isn’t being married also an achievement?” Halima asked confused.

“No, being happilly married is an achievement and the happiness in it is a huge difference!” Bola said conclusively.

“So make sure you tell your wife to drink the mixture when you get home! I don’t want to hear stories that touches! This pregnancy must stay o!” Mama repeated to her son who looked uncomfortable wondering if he should break the news to his mother or not.

“Ehm… mama, Oma had a miscarriage last week.” He finally let out.

“Ehn! And why are you just telling me?! Oh, you want to become those men that believes that their mother shouldn’t know everything that goes on in his marriage, Ehn?! After everything I did for you before you could reach the level you are today?! Oko mi, don’t I deserve a grandchild already. You’ve been married for three years and within that period, Ifeoma have had three miscarriages, now four! Are you sure that girl does not belong to a marine kingdom? She Kuku looks like a mermaid.” Mama complained.

“God’s time is the best, mama!” Fikayo said.

“God’s time for her have passed o! She just keeps killing it as soon as you put it in. That girl is an ogbanje!” Mama exclaimed.

“What exactly are you now trying to drive at with all your pep talks mama? What am I supposed to do about it?” Fikayo questioned confused.

“I don’t care how you do it but I think it’s time o!” Mama said in a coded way.

“Time for what now? Don’t even go there, mama. I’m too young to have two wives, do you want me to die before my time?”

“Then send her packing! She’s utterly useless!” Mama snapped.

“I can never do that, mama. I love Oma and I can’t imagine living without her in my life. Oma is my life.”

“Yen yen yen yen yen! Eh! Ifeoma has cooked efo(vegetable) for my son o! She has turned you to ode(dummy) for me! If Oma is your life, please, me nko?! Ehn! Wonders shall never end! Oma is my life, orisirisi(wonders)!” Mama exclaimed in an exaggerated manner.

“You shouldn’t be jealous of your daughter, mama! Oma is your daughter too.”

“Daughter nibo(where)? I don’t have a daughter o, I know how many children that I gave birth to and Ifeoma is not one of them, she has her own mother!”

“Mama, I’ve had enough of your silly tantrums. You’ve been so hostile to Oma ever since I married her and I always overlook it but I’ll not allow you to do this one, no way. How do you think she’s feeling now, she just lost a baby! She’s the one who’s even more hurt and she needs to be left alone not terrorized. I think I’ll take my leave now, meanwhile, the drink is no longer needed. Goodbye.” Fikayo snapped as he went out of his mother’s two bedroom apartment.

“So I’m now silly, ehn, Akanni?! I will not allow that woman to turn you into an unfortunate man! Whether she leaves or not, another woman is coming into your house” Mama shouted even though Fikayo had already zoomed out of the compound.

She rushed into her room to take her phone, she dialed a number and spoke into the phone speaker, “Hello, my dear… No, all is well jare. I just want to tell you to come to my house tomorrow with some of your luggage…. Yes… it’s time to claim your husband too… No… don’t worry… I’ll settle that… okay dear. Till then… thank you… Bye”

“We shall see whose want will come to pass now.” She said to herself after hanging up.

Ifeoma was trying so hard to sleep despite the sleeping pills she used, she had called her boss that she wouldn’t be able to come to work that day and her boss been a very understanding woman told her to take two days off. When sleep seemed not to come, she decided to fill her tummy up with the large bowl of ice cream that her husband brought home the previous night.

She turned on the TV and sat directly in front of it, her eyes were on it but her mind was elsewhere. She just couldn’t understand why her womb have refused to hold a baby for at least six months. Why miscarriage seemed to dwell in her marriage, she was just tired of it all. She had tried pills, injections, herbs and even prayers but nothing seemed to work, was God punishing her for not keeping her virginity till marriage? A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she only wondered who could be knocking instead of using the doorbell that has just been repaired.

She unlocked the door and in came her Mother in law followed by a young dark-skinned lady dragging a big box behind her.What is mama looking for early in the morning for God’s sake? She thought before greeting her.

“Keep your greetings to yourself, Ifeoma. Keep it to yourself! Why have you made it your life mission to just ruin my son’s life, ehn? So after my son have worked hard to put a child in that useless womb of yours, you just had to kill it again? If I call you a witch or ogbanje now, you’ll say that you are not. With that your evil cat eyes, the moment I saw those eyes of yours, I knew you are not ordinary but my son had fallen stupidly in love with you!” Mama ranted angrily.

Ifeoma was certainly not in the mood for banters nor did she have the strength to fight so she just carried her bowl of icecream and attempted to go into the master’s bedroom until mama stopped her.

“And where do you think you’re going? So what I’m saying makes no sense, abi? You want to walk out on me?” Ifeoma ignored her and proceeded into the room but stopped abruptly when the woman beside mama talked.

“What kind of disrespectful woman is that? So full of herself!”

Ifeoma turned to her and then spoke, “who are you?”

“She’s Ewatomi, the new wife I brought for my son. And you have no say in this, you either shift for her to sit or you stand up so she can sit, your choice!” Mama said smirking.

“What makes you think I’ll share my matrimonial home with this woman! Why would I share my own husband with any woman at all? My husband and I had no such agreement, our marriage is for better for worse, mama, not even you can put asunder!”

“Keep decieving yourself! Tomi, that’s your husband’s room, take your load in there.”

“You keep looking for ways to just drown this relationship, mama, what have I done to deserve this from you? Please, why won’t you leave me alone?” Ifeoma started crying as she fell to her knees pleading.The pain she was feeling had overwhelmed her and her defence was breaking, all she suddenly wanted was peace.

“All these crocodile tears means nothing to me, all I know is that, Tomi is here to stay!” Mama remained adamant.

Ifeoma suddenly got up from her knees in a way that startled mama, she walked into her room and began to pack her clothes into a small box.

Her face was devoid of any emotion and tears have suddenly stopped flowing down her face. She closed the zip of the box loudly, grabbed her car keys and began to walk towards the main entrance of the house, mama watched her with satisfaction and happiness but it soon vanished when Ifeoma turned back and said,”You have the house to yourself for now, but not my husband.”With that, she sauntered out of the house gracefully.

Ifeoma drove recklessly into her Parents’ compound, she was fuming and her knuckles had turned white due to the way that she was gripping the steering so tight.She got out of her car and headed straight into her parents’ home.

Her mom was shocked to see her and her dad just stared at her as if trying to decipher what she was doing there by that time.

“Good morning, mom and dad.” Ifeoma greeted hastily and proceeded to go inside her room before her mom called her back.

“Ifeoma, where do you think you’re going? What’s wrong?” Her mom said.

“Mummy, I am f*cking tired of marriage! I’m not interested in it anymore, I’m tired of fighting for someone who doesn’t fight for me! I’m tired of fighting for my marriage alone! I’ve had enough! Marriage is just a f*cking scam!” Ifeoma bursted out with anger, rage was coursing through her body like electricity.

“Don’t you dare use the F-word in my house!” Her dad scolded sternly.

“Calm down, Ifeoma. Just sit down and talk to us. How would we know what happened and how to help you if you don’t explain it to us?” Her mom said with worry.

Ifeoma sat reluctantly, took a few breaths in and out before she started talking,”Its my mother in law, mummy. I’m tired of that woman, I find myself including her death in my prayer points these days.”

“That woman again? What happened this time?” Ifeoma’s mom asked.

“Mum, she brought another woman into my matrimonial home as a wife for her son! Who does that in this century, just who? I’m so exasperated. She just derives joy in seeing me cry or moan in pain. She’s that wicked! And you know who gives her a go ahead? Her son! My husband! He says absolutely nothing to at least caution his mom, nothing at all! He even tells her every d*mn thing that happens in our marriage and I mean everything! Sometimes, I feel like there are two women in that house, he acts like a woman a lot. I’m tired of his childish mommy’s boy acts! I’m not going back to that house, mom, I’m going to divorce him!”

“Divorce? Is that the solution to all of these? That woman is going to win if you give up on fighting for what’s rightfully yours. You’ll be the loser, dear.” Her mom said.

“Loser or not! I don’t even care but don’t have it in mind that there’s a room for you in this house. Divorce is your choice, your business! And how many times do you want me to tell you that whatever happens in your matrimonial home should stay there. You shouldn’t report your husband or your mother in law to us, these are the little things that ruin marriage!” Ifeoma’s dad scolded.

“Dad, Fikayo is the one who really needs that advice not me! Despite all that I go through in that wicked woman’s hands, I only reported her to mum once. Fikayo reports to his mom a thousand times! He even told her about me having another miscarriage.” As if realising that she had slipped, she shut her mouth abruptly.

“Ifeoma, you had a miscarriage?!” Her mom exclaimed.

“And what do you mean by another miscarriage?!” Ifeoma’s dad questioned shock, written over his face.

“I thought you’ve never gotten pregnant.” Mrs Ogbonna, her mom said calmly.

“Mom, I took to your advice and kept certain things from you guys. That was my fourth miscarriage in three years, dad, the fourth! Each pregnancy does not last up to four months, non did. They just suddenly come out of me in form of thick blood, the fourth miscarriage happened last week.” She explained.

Her mom stared at her in shock and disbelief while her dad just stared in silence.”Those are not the kind of things you should keep away from your own mother, Ifeoma! Four miscarriages? Does that sound normal to you? I know you don’t believe in spiritual cases and all that but don’t you think this one isn’t something ordinary? How could you lose four of my grandchildren and still be so calm?” Mrs Ogbonna snapped angrilly at her daughter.

She couldn’t believe that her own daughter didn’t think she needed to share something that sensitive with her.

“You talk as if they aren’t my children. And I pray fervently these days, I even fast a lot. Our doctor said there’s nothing wrong with my husband and I.” Ifeoma said.

“I can’t believe my ears! Peter, see what your marriage advice has made your daughter keep from us o. Ifeoma has killed me!” Ifeoma’s mom shouted.

“Calm down, woman. Must you blow every single thing out of proportion? Meanwhile, Ifeoma, miscarriage or not, this is not an issue to be solved right now. You still have to go back to your husband’s house. Your mother will see to your problem with immediate effect. All I know is that you are not spending a night in my house.”

With that, Ifeoma’s dad left them and went into his room. Ifeoma’s mom followed her husband in after promising her daughter that she’ll talk to him.

When Ifeoma saw that her parents were taking too much time in the room, she stood up to leave until her mom came out slowly,”He says you can stay.”

Ifeoma’s phone rang for the umpteenth time and she again ignored it. She just wasn’t ready to speak to her husband, she was still angry about what his mother had done the previous day.Her parents had gone to some charity event that morning so she was alone at home with her parents’ maid.

Halima walked gently into the living room wearing a sunshade and a veil which surprised Ifeoma because Halima wasn’t one who fancied things like that and she never covers her head even though she’s a muslim.

“If you have also caught apolo or something, please do me a favour and keep those shades on, abeg.” Ifeoma joked as her friend sat beside her.

“Apolo would have been better o.” Halima said as she took off the sunshade and veil.

Ifeoma gasped, her friend’s face was battered and bruised badly, she felt like she could feel her pain even though she was not the one who was battered.

“What happened to your face, Halima?” She half screamed.

“My husband happened o, Oma! I am married to an animal!” Halima said as she suddenly started to cry.

Ifeoma was shocked! A man could actually do that to his own wife? What kind of devil lives in him?

“Why would he even raise his hand in the first place? What kind of man is that? Did you guys have a huge misunderstanding?” Ifeoma asked as she touched Halima’s swollen left eye gently, Halima winced in pain.

“I am surprised too, Oma. All I did was ask him about the used wraps of condoms in his pockets and then he just went savage like a wild animal! He started to hit me so hard and he didn’t stop until he was satisfied that I was battered enough. As I am speaking, Oma, I sneaked out of that house and I am not going back in! I was thinking of where to go when you called me to explain your own marriage palava so I thought I’d better come here. My parents would send me back to him if I should go to them. Whoever said there’s an happily ever after is mad! It isn’t even up to a year yet and I’m fed up of it already!” Halima ranted with anger and pain.

“I’m tired too, Halima. When last have you heard from Bola?” Ifeoma asked.

“Was it not last week friday or so? When i called her sef, she said she was on a boat cruise with her man and would call me back but she didn’t.” Halima responded.

“Bola and that her man friend, she doesn’t seem to care about marriage. I wish I could be that carefree, maybe I would be happy by now too instead of just depressed everytime. I really wish I can actually poison that useless mother in law of mine but I just don’t have the mind to kill.” Ifeoma lamented.

“Don’t tell me that you are already starting to think like Bola o. Just see her as one troublesome mother.”

“Mother?! No mother would terrorize her daughter this much, Halima. Do you even understand the amount of emotional and verbal abuse she puts me through? I am getting fed up of the marriage already and I even told my parents that I want to divorce.”

“You are kidding! No no! Please, don’t do something you’d regret all your life, just because people seem to just opt for divorce these days doesn’t mean you should too. Fikayo is a really nice man and you know it, he just needs some marriage counselling and he needs to grow up, that’s all. And you guys love each other so much, please, don’t let that old woman ruin it.” Halima pleaded.

“Mama is not an old woman, she gave birth to her only son at an early age, that’s why she has so much strength to terrorize me everyday!” Ifeoma snapped.

“Just take things easy with her, go back to your home and claim whats rightfully yours. Stand up to her and let her know her place, no woman can just come in between you guys. Aren’t you even grateful that you’re not in my shoes? What if Fikayo is also a woman beater, wouldn’t it be even worse?” Halima pestered trying to knock some sense into Ifeoma who seemed to finally heed.

“I think you’re right, dear. You’re a lifesaver!” Ifeoma said as she hugged her friend.

“So what do we do about that husband of yours too? How about you give him just one more chance and see what happens?” Ifeoma asked.

Ifeoma walked into the apartment and was shocked at the rearrangements that the house had undergone. The cushion direction was changed and their wedding portraits were off the walls.

Angered, Ifeoma turned to storm out of the house having in mind, “If I perish, I perish, but I’m definitely divorcing him! The disrespect!”

But Fikayo’s voice stopped her,”Baby? Oma?”

She did a U-turn to look at her husband or maybe soon to be ex-husband as she thinks, she was heartbroken to see how disheveled and unkempt he looked, he had big eye bags and had one of their wedding portraits in his arms.

Ifeoma definitely missed her husband so much and was feeling bad at how he looked lifeless but then she remembered the stunt his mother pulled and how they turned her living room upside down so her angry mood returned.

“Yes? Are you happy now?” Ifeoma asked harshly.

“Baby, I’m so sorry! I asked Mama and that woman to leave immediately I came home and saw them. I called you a million times, Oma, you refused to pick my calls. I asked your friends about your whereabouts and they just shunned me. I’m so sorry.” Fikayo pleaded on his knees.

Already softened but wanting to put up more act, Ifeoma boned her face wanting to hear him plead a little bit more, “So suddenly you don’t know my parents address anymore?”

“You were there? I swear, I would be lying if I said I didn’t think of that but then I thought you can’t be there because knowing your father, he would have sent you back immediately so I crossed it off. And I wanted to call them but I didn’t want them to know that we had issues. You said I shouldn’t tell them about our misunderstandings.”

Already softened, Ifeoma knelt in front of her husband, holding his face, she whispered, “I missed you so much, baby. You know I really can’t do without you.”

“I missed you more, I almost went crazy! I love you baby and I apologize on behalf of my mom.”

Fikayo claimed Ifeoma’s lips with his as they kissed as long and deep as they could. Fikayo’s hands were already roaming around under his wife’s top and things were already getting pretty heated before Ifeoma broke the contact.

They looked at eachother before they both burst into laughter.”I see what you did there.” She joked.

“Oh come on! I have a boner already, baby and you are as horny as I am if not worse.” Fikayo teased as he pouted.

“I’ll allow you to do anything you want with me but baby, you really need to talk to mama. On a serious note, she’s annoying and honestly, I’ve had it to my throat on her issues. I already considered divorce, baby.”

Fikayo gasped, “Divorce?, Do you want me to die?”

“Of course not! But that’s just to tell you how much your mom is making me overthink things and can even come in between us. Fikayo, you already know this! Your mom’s hatred for me is something that can’t be quenched, she will do anything to bring me down and throw me out of this house and that isn’t even the painful part, baby, the most painful part is that fact that you’re allowing it!”

“I’m so sorry, that’ll stop henceforth. I can’t lose you.” He apologized.

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Can I do whatever I want now?”

Ifeoma nodded as Fikayo scooped her up in his arms and carried her into their bedroom.

Several Weeks had passed after the major misunderstanding which was caused by no one other than Mama.

Mama suddenly reduced the way she visited Fikayo and his wife and they hardly saw her like before.

When they did visit her or she did, she never even paid any attention to Ifeoma. She ignored her totally as if expecting that to make her unhappy or something but then Ifeoma was just so thrilled about the new changes, to her, it was very better for mama to ignore her than make her life a living hell. She was enjoying the new freedom and happiness until her husband announced a news that sounded like a death sentence to her one night.

“The heavy rain and storm that the news carried also happened in Mama’s area, it was so bad and destructive. Many houses collapsed and roofs were removed by the storm.” Fikayo started.

“Oh really! Only God can save us from this rainy season o. It’s too much, I hope no lives were lost?” Ifeoma replied, although she was still focused on her iPhone.

“No, but there were minor injuries. So the thing is that Mama’s roof was also removed in that storm, and a part of the house collapsed too.” “Wow! What the… How did that happen? Is she okay though?” She asked sincerely worried.

“Yes, she is. Thankfully, she wasn’t in the house at the moment when it happened, she was at her friend’s place then only for her to come back to meet all her properties destroyed by the rain. She was so sad when I went to see her this evening.” Fikayo explained further.

“Oh my God. I can imagine how she feels. You should really get an apartment for her to stay for a while before you finish the reconstruction.”

“Yes, that’s the thing. She’s going to stay with a friend for a couple of days and I’m thinking of bringing her to this house to stay with us till we get hers back.”

“Which house?” Ifeoma asked now focusing all her attention on her husband.

“This house, baby. I ought to bring her this evening but I just didn’t because I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

“You want to bring mama into our house to live with us? The same mama I know? Are you even listening to yourself? She is not even living with us and she’s causing chaos among both of us, what’s to say that when she now moves in, she won’t even kill me.” Ifeoma raises her voice as she stood up.

“Calm down baby. I told you she’ll change and she did, didn’t you see the difference these few weeks?”

“What difference? She ignores me and my existence! She doesn’t allow me to touch her, doesn’t respond to my greetings and refuses to eat anything I cook. Not that I’m complaining or anything, I actually like it that way than her terrorizing me but is that what you call change? Fikayo, your mother can’t stay with us, she just can’t!” Ifeoma refuses.

“Aren’t you being so insensitive and unnecessarily wicked right now? Am I supposed to just let my mom suffer? What do you think people will say? Her house is not in a good condition right now and her only son couldn’t take her in for a while! It’s not even forever” Fikayo explained trying to knock some sense into his wife Who isn’t even seeing his point.

“It sounds like forever to me if you don’t know! Like a very long forever. And she’s not suffering, stop putting it that way. All you have to do is just get her an apartment for a while, this isn’t even a big deal.”

“She can’t stay in an apartment when she has her son nearby, she’s not even feeling too well to stay alone. Oma dear, can’t you just see my point? Please.” He pleaded when he saw that reasoning with her is not helping.

“It won’t work o! It won’t! Mama staying with us won’t work. I don’t care how people see it, were they blind when she’s terrorizing me? People choose to see what they want to see!” Fed up with her adamant responses, Fikayo raises his voice at her.

“Shut up, Oma! Just shut it! My mother will come into this house and you will cohabit with her whether you like it or not! Put yourself in her shoes and stop being unreasonable!”

“Did you just raise your voice at me? See ehn! If you choose not to listen to me, this house will become hot for you to live in! I promise!” Ifeoma said as she put on her slippers and walked out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Her husband shouted after her.

“Somewhere that has sanity!!!”

Fikayo was seated in the bar taking shots of vodka while his mind wandered away.He was honestly tired of the misunderstanding he had with his wife. She intentionally refused to cook for him before leaving for work this morning like she usually did. He can’t seem to see why living with his mom for a while was such a big issue. ‘Can’t they just try to understand themselves? What’s the matter with women? There should be a whole book on how to understand women, honestly’

That was what filled his head as he filled his stomach with the alcohol.His mom called him this morning to ask when he would be coming to get her saying that her friend had already started making it seem like she’s a beggar.

He tried his luck by asking her if he should get her an apartment to stay instead of staying with them but it only resulted in another headache for him as mama flared up saying, ” is it that your wife? She does not want me in my own son’s house! I’m sure if she could kill me, she would have done so. She thinks I’m her rival!”

Fikayo had to hang up the call after telling her he’d get back to her.

“Sup, man!” Biola, one of Fikayo’s best buddies slapped his back as he took a seat on one of the chairs beside him.Two other guys who are also Fikayo’s friends followed suit and took their seats on the other empty chairs while exchanging pleasantries.

“This one that you’re the first person amongst us to be here, it never happens. Hope all is well with you?” Kunle, another one of his buddies asked with humor.They all ordered for different brands of alcohol from the Barman as they started their conversation.

“See, I don’t even know! Guys, I’m tired” Fikayo lamented.”Of what?” Biola asked.”Of misunderstandings between Oma and I”

“You have just started man! You have not seen anything, I thought she was the sugar in your tea before, your hearthrob, did she turn to a bitterleaf in your tea?” Ade, who’s the only bachelor amongst them said while the rest of the guys hissed.

They don’t take him serious when it comes to marriage issues because he does not respect women neither does he believe in love or marriage. It’s all bullsh*t to him so he finds every means to discredit anything marriage or love.”Ade, how many times do we have to tell you that whenever we are talking about marriage issues, do not contribute! You end up saying the sh*itt*iest rubbish ever!” Kunle reprimanded.

“The truth is bitter! Whether you guys will admit it or not, you are tired of your marriage and I can understand. Imagine having to eat the same type of meal everyday. Just imagine, I’ll commit suicide!” Ade said laughing at his own joke.

“Who told you that I’m tired of Oma? The way you jump to conclusions like a frog ehn! I’ll never be tired of Oma, infact, she’s still the sugar in my tea. I can’t imagine life without her and she’s my forever but these misunderstandings, I really wish I have a way to do away with it. It’s really straining our relationship” Fikayo praises while Ade rolled his eyes and hissed.

“Don’t worry man, you’ll understand one day” Fikayo patted him.”Don’t mind him, it’s not even as if he doesn’t understand o! Abi is he not the same guy that fell in love with Chioma that year? Always doing everything for her? The girl turned him to big time maga! Because that one broke his heart now, he no let us hear word again. You better open up your heart for a soulmate!” Biola chided.

“Me? Love Chioma? I was only acting for her to get punani!(pvssy) No be only love” Ade replied even though Chioma is a touchy subject for him.

“If you don’t shut up there now, we will open up your matter today. You that when she got married to that old man then and left you, you considered suicide. If not because someone was there to stop you on time from taking the sniper, na underground you for Dey now. Don’t worry, today is not about you and Chioma, if not, we for table am here small. Today is for Fikayo so shut your mouth and let’s hear him out” Kunle said.

“You people and your arguments with Ade ehn. Maybe he forgot na!” Fikayo added laughing.His clique were always like that, always bickering at eachother and still there for eachother. They have been friends since their first year in the University.

“This misunderstanding now is about mama o. I told her that I want mama to come and stay with us for a while before I finish her roofing o, that’s all and Oma flared up. She refused vehemently as if mama is an hired killer” Fikayo explained to his friends.

“Oh, about the roofing that rain removed? But what’s wrong with her always picking fights with your mother? What’s her problem?” Biola asked.

“Calm down, Biola. Don’t judge like that o, have you ever been opportuned to be there with mama and Ifeoma when they are arguing or something? I once witnessed it o, and before God and Man, Fikayo, your mom is so extra! It’s like she has this nurtured hatred for the lady o. If you see how she cursed and abused Ifeoma that day all because she gave her One meat, you’ll think its because she added poison to her food, it was when Ifeoma couldn’t take the insult anymore that she replied her. Fikayo, your mom is annoying sometimes, I won’t lie” Kunle said.

“It still doesn’t mean! Ahnahn, she still deserves her respect! A mother will always be a mother. My own mother and my wife have been staying together for years now and they are cohabiting quite well aside some unusual misunderstandings. Ifeoma is not homely at all, I noticed that in her when you guys were dating in school then. She doesn’t joke with us, always quiet. She won’t even care to cook for us when we visit her. You know that I never liked her, I prefer Adesewa to Ifeoma anytime any day. Sewa with that big a*ss of hers back then, she’ll cook, wash and even do everything for us just because she liked you yet you didn’t even reciprocate her love for you. Na Ifeoma, the slim one you carry put for house” Biola explained.

“You can’t compare your own mother to Fikayo’s mom o! They are different, you sef know what I’m talking about na. Ifeoma may also be stubborn in her way but well… and you should know better that marriage and love isn’t about shape o” Kunle replied.

“Don’t mind him, your own wife that has the big a*ss, big boobs now, hasn’t it all fallen apart?” Ade said as he received a slap on his head from Biola.

“Don’t talk about my wife like that! Do you expect her to be well shaped after two beautiful kids?” Biola stood up for his wife.

“No, I’m only saying you cared about curves so much and now that it’s somehow, you’re already following other girls with the a*ss.” Ade accused.

“It’s non of your business, that’s just pleasure. Every married man does it” Biola covered up.

“Abeg o, which one is every married man does it? Am I not married? I would never be part of that” Fikayo said.

“Sorry o, the faithful husband” Ade mocked as the other guys laughed.

“Meanwhile, you just need to calm down and talk to your wife. See reasons with her and try to understand her point of view, maybe you’ll get to understand why she’s so against it” Kunle advised.

“Which calm down? You will never understand women no matter how hard you try to. I saw a book on how to understand women one day and man, it was blank! Nobody knows it…”

The guys laughed ….

“See ehn, my own is that you should bring your mom in! You’re the husband in that house, you command and she listens, that’s the role. It’s your mother we are talking about for God’s sake” Biola advised.

“In this 21st century? He commands and she listens? You better go back to the 80s” Kunle joked.

While his friends were bickering at one another, Fikayo was torn between both advices, he then decided to heed to both. Talk again to Oma first and if she still proves stubborn, he’ll do what Biola said, after all ‘I’m really the husband’, he thought.

Ifeoma walked into the eatery gracefully on her heels. She spotted Halima and Bola seated around one of the tables eating jollof rice and fried rice and then she walked towards them and sat down.

” Eh eh! Ifeoma! Your face is scarce o! I almost thought you’re no more living in Nigeria sef” Bola said as soon as she sat down.

” Abi you’re the one who hardly stays in Nigeria again. Dubai everytime, you’re the one everyone is talking about right now o. Money Dey your hand na, make we help you spend am ” Ifeoma saluted her friend jokingly.

” Ah . It’s not my fault o , that’s where Ademi is enjoying his life now o , trying to get away from his wife as much as possible. We might get married in Dubai sef” Bolanle said with excitement.

“Get married to another woman’s husband! I hope you know that he married his wife legally and can sue you people!” Halima said.

“This one have come again o . You’re such a kill-joy. Never happy for me for once, blah blah blah ! Abeg, leave me alone o, let everybody do what pleases them” Bola said while Ifeoma rolled her eyes at the both of them.

“When will you ladies ever stop fighting each other at every little thing. Abeg o, let’s talk about what has been troubling me” Ifeoma started.

“What else will be troubling you if not your husband and his mother?” Bola said with sarcasm.

“I can’t believe that I have to admit that you are right. See, I’m so tired of this woman. You know what the new development is right now, Fikayo wants his mother to live with us!” Ifeoma exclaimed.

” Ehn ! And you agreed to it? Any other normal mother in law would be fine o but that bag full of troubles Fikayo calls his mom shouldn’t be allowed o! See ehn! Say goodbye to your marriage” Bola aggravated.

“Calm down, Bola! You’re such a drama queen. She’s tensed already as you can see, why are u trying to aggravate the issue for her? See

jare, Oma, I think you should have a heart to heart discussion with your husband o. Do not allow it” Halima also contributed.

“You guys think when he told me, I just said, oh okay, why not, bring her in? of course not, I refused! I refused vehemently. For the past two days after he told me, we haven’t even exchanged as little as hello in that house. But he’s not listening, he thinks I’m just been dramatic and insensitive about the whole thing. You girls know how much of an high regard he places his mother compared to me!” I explained even further.

“And that is such a bad thing, honestly!” Halima buttressed.

“I thought you’ll say it’s a good thing! We are saying the same thing but in different ways yet you think I’m wrong and you’re right” Bola said to Halima and then faced Ifeoma squarely.

“See ehn , What I’ll tell you is that you should just take her since there’s nothing you can do! When she moves in, poison her! Simple as ABC!” Bola said nonchalantly and went back to drinking her smoothie.

“Is she a rat to just poison like that? Eh Bola! You never cease to amaze me! Oma, don’t even listen to this girl o, when everything happens and it backfires now, the world will not help you to hear that you killed your mother in law just because she frustrates you. This girl giving you advice sef will disappear then. Even Fikayo will not hear such reason, he’ll throw you in jail straightaway!” Halima said.

“Ahnahn, is she daft? She’ll do it in a way that she doesn’t get caught na! Na who them catch dem go dey ask questions ” Bola shrugged.

“It’s like you’re talking from experience” Ifeoma guessed.

“Well, in my head, I’ve killed Ademi’s wife a million times! Now that I even heard that she’s pregnant, it’s even more annoying” Bola explained.

“If anyone should be killing anybody in their head, it should be that woman killing you cos you’re the one who won’t leave her husband alone, yet she’s overlooking whatever her husband does outside with you and you’re still looking for how to collect her husband entirely! Bola, you won’t succeed, I fear who no fear you!” Ifeoma said.

“Leave her now! I just can’t wait for the day your Ademi will disappoint you and tell you he can never leave his wife, that’s when you’ll know that you’re just the other woman and will always be the other woman” Halima added.

“It’s okay! You guys are not even supportive at all”

“If you’re looking for friends who’ll support this nonsense you’re into, you know where to find them! Or did those glamorous Titi and Chioma leave you, those ones will keep hailing you. But we? We’ll always tell you the truth, so that when it all backfires, I’ll be able to say that I told you so” Halima said again.

“Oh! Halima, hope your husband hasn’t pulled the stunt of that time again?” Ifeoma asked in a coded way so that Bola doesn’t get what she was asking about.

“No, he hasn’t. But I think it’s just because he hasn’t been coming home for some weeks now. When he’s stable at home then I’ll know. Plus I always try to avoid any sort of confrontation with him, I still found condoms in his pocket last week but I didn’t bother to say anything about it” Halima told Ifeoma.

“At least he’s using condoms with his concubines. Some men are so dumb that they do it raw and then they’ll now bring disease home for you!” Bola contributed.

“Who called you? Do you know what we’re talking about?” Halima accused.

“See this one. What you don’t want the father to hear ehn , it’s the father that’ll still finish the matter for you. You think I’m daft? It’s me that all these coded nonsense will work for? You found condoms in his pocket, confronted him and he beat you up. Guy that looks very much like a woman beater before, if there was a job that says woman beater, he’d fit that job perfectly, he looks like he beats women for a living! Be coding nonsense there, you didn’t want me to know because I’ll say the truth abi ” Bola said.

“I didn’t want you to know because you’ll mock me” Halima said.

“And have I mocked you? Sometimes you conclude sh*t about me just because of the way you act. Don’t conclude about what I’d do for me please”

” Mehn , you guys are as useless as the p in psycho. You didn’t say anything tangible that can help me to stop mama from living in my house. Just changing the whole topic up and down” Ifeoma joked.

But deep down within her, she was scared at the fact that her mother in law will really move in with them and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

The day that mama was to move in with her son and his wife came knocking on the door. Ifeoma was grunting and acting all angry with her husband the more the day grew nearer.

Fikayo was taking his bath while Ifeoma was seated in the sitting room watching a telemundo that she wasn’t quite giving attention to.

She kept murmuring to herself angrily. Her husband’s phone rang loudly and she jumped up hastily to check who it was, she never thought it would be a mistress because she had never doubted her husband. She only wanted to see if it was mama and she was right.

She picked up the phone from the table mumbling under her breath. She hung up the call and deleted it from the call log. The phone rang again and she did the same thing. She continued to hang up the call over and over again as mama kept calling.

When she heard footsteps of her husband coming out of their room, she quickly dropped it and laid down on the couch.

“Oh, I left it here. Mama would have been calling me to come and pick her up at the park” Fikayo said as he picked his phone.

He was shocked to see no missed calls from his mother. His mom wasn’t that patient.

“Oma, did my phone ring?” He decided to ask his wife.

“Ring? No o. At all! It didn’t even blink, why are you asking?” Ifeoma feigned innocence and talked to her husband lovingly.

Fikayo was shocked because all she had been doing in the house was giving him grunts and nods.

“Mama is coming today na. Have you forgotten?” He reminded.

“Oh! Maybe she already changed her mind. You know how these old women think” Ifeoma replied.

“Definitely not my mother. Let me call her” Fikayo said as he attempted to dial mama’s number.

Ifeoma stopped him before he could go further, “No! Don’t call her na! Just wait tills he calls herself na” She exclaimed.

Fikayo gave his wife weird looks before surrendering to her charms and then he went back into the room after dropping his phone.

Ifeoma smiled secretly as she picked up the phone and followed her husband in.

‘If she couldn’t stop her from moving in, at least she should get some punishment while at it, she must find her way into this house by herself. Doesn’t she come uninvited before, so because of some luggage now, she needs car to pick her up’ Ifeoma thought.

It was afternoon and Ifeoma was lying on her husband’s chest stroking his tiny chest hairs. Fikayo was enjoying all the attention his wife was gifting him all of a sudden today. He really missed her been like that so he completely forgot about who was coming and who he had to pick.

Mama barged into the house, her face contorted in anger as she startled the lovebirds who were lying down on the cushion. Fikayo was shocked while Ifeoma just had a smug smile on her lips.

“Mama, you’re here? By yourself?” Fikayo exclaimed as he rushed towards his mother.

“No! I’m here with Jesus!” Mama replied sarcastically.

She was fuming judging by the way her eyes was glaring daggers and her hands on her waist standing akimbo.

Ifeoma chose that moment to welcome her mother in law despite the fact that she was the reason for the whole scenario.

“Mama welcome o! How was your journey?”

“Go and greet your ancestors in heaven!” Mama responded angrily.

Ifeoma retreated, smiling mischievously.

“But mama, I told you to call me na. You should have called!” Fikayo accused his mother.

“If I throw my slippers from here, it’ll hit you right in the groin and you know that I never miss! How else would I call you? I called over a hundred times and you kept hanging up the call!” Mama shouted at her son.

“Ahnahn! Mama, don’t exaggerate it o, you only called fifteen times.” Ifeoma said forgetting that she was supposed to just keep her mouth shut.

Fikayo turned to look at his wife, his face contorted in confusion.

“Fifteen times? What are you saying? You said she did not call!” Fikayo snapped.

“Oh! So your wife is now your phone keeper? This witch that doesn’t want me here in the first place, ehn! You left me in the park to look for taxi and pack all these heavy loads by myself!” Mama shouted.

At the mention of loads, Ifeoma’s eyes surveyed the luggage that the taxi driver had helped mama to drag inside.

Her mouth hanged open, “is she planning to die here?” She unconsciously whispered.

“Shut up, Ifeoma! Shut it!” Fikayo snapped at his wife.

He was beyond angry about the stunt she pulled and the fact that she kept acting like she did nothing infuriates him the more.

“Sorry o! Mama, what will you eat o?” Ifeoma continued not minding her husband.

“Who will eat your food? So that you can poison me, abi?” Mama retorted.

“Baby, can you see that I’ve tried my best as a daughter in law? I don’t want to hear that I’m stressing your mother o. Ehnehn, Mama, in case you’re hungry, tell me o because the kitchen key is with me and you can’t cook for yourself without it. I rest my case” Ifeoma concluded as she went into her room.

“See your life! Is that a wife or a stupid girl! Next time when your mother says you shouldn’t do something, you won’t do it!” Mama snapped at her son before she sat down on one of the sofas.

Fikayo looked to and fro at the direction of the two women. He was tired already and today was only the first day of cohabitation.

He felt like there was more to come and he dreaded it.

Fikayo arrived home a bit late than usual and he was so famished. He entered the house expecting greeting as usual from his wife and mother but didn’t hear any. He then started to hear their muffled arguments from the kitchen, not wanting to face their trouble that evening, he started to tiptoe into the room until they both caught him.

“Baby, you’re back?” Ifeoma said at the same time that mama said,

“Welcome, my son”.

“Why are you walking on your toes like a thief?” Ifeoma eyed him mischievously.

“What kind of wife calls her husband a thief? You are so disrespectful!” Mama accused.

Ifeoma simply ignored the woman’s attempt to get her angry again so she focused on her husband instead.

“Baby, go and take a shower dear. Your food will soon be ready” Ifeoma simply said and went back into the kitchen.

Fikayo rushed inside.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Mama was desperately and intentionally frustrating Ifeoma.

“My son is not going to eat that nonsense you’re cooking this night! Can’t you see that he’s tired and needs solid food? How can a man go and work all day and come back to eat macaroni?” Mama said.

“The way you keep saying he works all day like it’s something that is unusual, one would think I’m a full housewife. I work all day too and we split everything we pay for in this house, you don’t see my mother coming here to frustrate your son” Ifeoma said calmly.

“Are you saying I’m frustrating? Don’t worry, the vegetable that you concocted that makes my son like you so much will soon expire! Just know that he’s going to eat my food and not yours!” Mama retorted.

Ifeoma ignored her.

Fikayo sat patiently on the dinning table expecting his wife to bring him his food. He was confused when he saw both Ifeoma and Mama walking hastily into the dining room carry dishes of food.

“Baby, I prepared spaghetti just the way you like to eat it” Ifeoma said as she started to dish the food for her husband.

The bliss was short lived as mama opened her own dishes too.

Fikayo was beyond confused this time that he just kept mute and continued to watch both women act whatever drama it was that they were acting.

“Oko mi(My child), why eat that broom when you can eat your favorite eba and egusi soup?” Mama said dishing the food too.

Ifeoma was tired of her troubles.

“I’m confused in this house! Mama, are you a wife or a mother? Ehn! Why do you keep acting like a rival with me? My husband will not eat eba this late at night, he won’t. Who eats such heavy food when going to bed?” Ifeoma snapped.

“What I know is that I won’t let you starve my son. Why does he have to eat that stupid food? There’s nothing you know how to do, nothing!” Mama responded.

Fikayo was confused as to what to do or whose food to eat so he simply stood up and went inside. He was having headache already.

‘You haven’t seen anything, you wnat her to live with us and here she is’ Ifeoma thought.

“See your life! You have used your stupid food and nagging to send him off to sleep on an empty stomach! Ifeoma, my son will not die in your hands! Is it because of his property?” Mama shouted.

Ifeoma looked at her mother in law like she was stupid.

“Property? So he has property? Wonders shall never end. Mama, please, you’re always out of point” Ifeoma replies and proceeded into the room.

“Its your whole family that will be out of point! Stupid girl! Very disrespectful!” Mama shouted after Ifeoma who had already entered into the room.

In the room, Ifeoma climbed on her husband in a playful way, Fikayo simply looked away.

“Baby, I’m tired of this house already and it’s not even a month yet, not even close. I’m sure you are fed up too, was it beer like this when we were alone? Your mother comes with all sort of negative energy, I’m tired” Ifeoma whined, stroking her husband’s beard.

“You keep indulging her too, Oma. Baby, can’t you just do me a Favour and ignore her sometimes?” Fikayo pleaded.

“You of all persons know how much I do that. I do it everytime unless I’m pushed to the wall to talk. She knows how to get on my nerves! Talk to her too” Ifeoma snapped and got off him.

She was pissed that Fikayo still thought that most of it was her fault and that she has to be the bigger person yet again.

In the middle of the night, Fikayo awakes into the kitchen to eat the food his wife prepared for him right after microwaving it.

He thought about how he had suddenly became a rat that now sneaks around in the middle of the night as he puts each spoon into his mouth.

It was already two weeks since mama started to stay with her son and his wife, with her bags full of trouble of course.

Ifeoma was already tired of it all but she had stopped paying any attention at all to her and kept giving her husband attitude. She stopped complaining as well and just went about her work, also making sure to mind her business in the house. It felt like she was the third wheel in the house and not her mother-in-law.

She didn’t even talk much to her husband anymore neither do they play and joke around like they used to. Mama was straining the relationship and it still seemed normal to Fikayo.

Ifeoma turned to the wall as her husband prepared to lay on the other side of the bed. Fikayo sighed.

What was paining him wasn’t the fact that she refused to talk to him but the fact that she also refused to do the bed duties and it was frustrating him already.

“Oma, please. I’m horny” Fikayo started.

Ifeoma knew she can always win over her husband in that aspect, when he starts begging and pleading for sex. She knew that she has a upper hand and she was ready to use it to her satisfaction.

“Oma, I’m sorry” Fikayo begged even though he really didn’t know what he was sorry for but then he’d do anything to have some of that sugar.

“What are you sorry for o?” Ifeoma asked and turned to him.

“I don’t know” He replied.

“If you don’t know what you’re sorry for, why say sorry? Get ready to sleep” Ifeoma snapped.

“Wait na. Okay, I’m sorry for the strain we are having and whatever I might have done to offend you. Oma, I’m sorry for what I’ll do next sef. Please na” Fikayo pleaded desperately.

“It’s when you are horny that you remember to beg for everything you’ve done and haven’t done. Ayo, I’ve been relegated to second wife o, there should be shifts. Do you want to starve your first wife?” Ifeoma said sarcastically.

Fikayo decided to play dumb, “I have only one wife and that’s you, my dearest Ifeoma. I can never think of taking another wife not to talk of relegating you to second wife”

“Indeed, your mother nko?”

“Oma now. I’m sorry, please” Fikayo tried to close the issue as he started to kiss and caress his wife.

Mama barged into the room suddenly and they almost jumped out of their bed.

Ifeoma hissed, Fikayo rolled his eyes too.

“You want to make love and you didn’t lock the door. It’s like you’ve forgotten that we have someone in this house that doesn’t understand the word privacy” Ifeoma murmured glaring at her husband.

“Mama, what is it?!” Fikayo snapped.

“Akanni, how dare you shout at me? Is it not you I am watching out for? Nothing is more important than what I came here to do. Get up! We need to pray right now. There are evil spirits in this house, they’re in every nook and corner” Mama lamented.

Ifeoma hissed loudly again and turned to her other side.

“Keep hissing. I can’t blame you, you are the one who invited those evil spirits anyway. You’re their queen, Marine water evil spirit” Mama cursed while Ifeoma continued to ignore her.

“Mama! It’s enough! We don’t have any evil spirit in our house. Pastor comes to sanctify it regularly” Fikayo convinced.

“All those yeye pastors? Just give me the opportunity to invite baba Anigilaje , my herbalist. He’ll point them out for you, even your wife will dance out and show her real self” Mama pestered.

Fikayo was getting even more irritated.

“Mama, you’re getting on my last nerves. It’s becoming too much. My wife is not a mermaid or whatever you think!” Fikayo snapped.

Mama burst into tears.

“So now I can’t even guide my own son properly? Akanni, you know what I went through to make you who you are today

o . So now, you want to start shouting at me because of your wife? The woman that wasn’t there when I was suffering to make you who you are today, ehn , Akanni. The woman that will leave you if one small thing happens to you now and I’ll still be the one that’ll stay by you.”

Mama remnisced amidst tears.

Ifeoma hissed again.

“Drama Queen” she murmured.

“Mama, I’m sorry. But there’s no evil spirit. I’m sorry for shouting at you” Fikayo apologized.

” Oko mi, what an elder sees while sitting, a child would never see even while standing, the evil spirits in this house want evil for you and I would not allow them. I didn’t give birth to you and raise you for years only to allow some idiots turn you into something else for me. And your wife? She’s so relented when it comes to praying matters, look at her sleeping when I said there is fire on the roof. Until the fire burns her, she won’t pray” Mama said.

“Anybody that wishes for fire to burn me, Holy Ghost Fire will burn that person” Ifeoma said solemnly although loud enough to be heard by her husband and his mother.

“Holy Ghost Fire will not burn me, I carry Holy Ghost fire in me already. The banana is rotting, we keep saying it’s ripening. Useless wife. Only God can help you!” Mama concluded and went out of the room.

“Mama, that’s too harsh! You want prayer? Oya!” Fikayo said as he followed his mom out of the room.

“Evil spirit is in the house? If there are any at all, it’s she herself, nothing else.” Ifeoma murmured.

***

Fikayo came back into the room after a long chain of prayers and by then his wife was asleep.

He decided to wake her up.

“Oma, oya ” He said.

“Please, please! I don’t feel like anymore, go and meet your mother. She can do everything for you!” Ifeoma snapped and went back to sleep.

Fikayo sighed.

“What has he gotten himself into” He thought.